Discussions

Hi my name is Mary.

I am a mom to 3 young children, Ages 6,years old 5 and a 3 year old. I signed on for this site a few days ago but couldn't get myself to post. But feel like I can today.

I found out two weeks ago today that I had a mass. I have grade 2 invasive ductal carcinoma. Did the tests mri etc. Yesterday went in talked to the surgeon about options and all this is just not getting through to me. My online friend says my brain is trying to block this all out. I can't seem to read all the info I got last week. Tried many many times. I know it's real and I know what I have and to read all this stuff I was given it's so much to read. I feel so over whelmed. I was very scared to go talk to the surgeon yesterday but I had a awesome interperter. (I am hard of hearing). She was awesome she has a mom that had breast cancer too and a friend so she calmed me down lol. To my surprise she even asked questions to the dr that I wouldn't of thought of. Just wish she would be able to be with me through it all but she can't. She was a sub for the day.

I also had test done for genetics yesterday. Now I see a plastic surgeon Monday to learn about reconstruction. We don't know yet whats going to happen til they get in there. But they want me to know all the options.  I keep changing my mind which way to go. Mastectomy to me makes more sense but I am not sure. Depends what they find and what my tests say. But still so scary.

Rignt now I am more worried about my kids and hubby. I don't know how he is going to be able to care for me and the kids and his job. We are at lost what to do. We don't have sitters. My mil is it. My brother is time to time thing. But my kids are well kids full over energy lol and a bit to much for grandma. So this worries me a lot.

Well I am going to stop for now and just wanted to let you know I am here. Feels good to get this out. I been angry, sad, worried stressed. I just wish I can be more calm and move along what the day brings but it's so hard knowing I have this. I really need to stop putting the milk in the cupboard though lol. My poor brain is all over the place. Not sure I am making any sense here lol.

Hugs many many hugs to you all.

Mary.

 Oh Mary, you are making so much sense. An unfortunate welcome to our world. The stage you are at right now is perhaps the hardest. The not knowing, and waiting. I'm glad you finally decided to post. We will be here for you whether you need to vent, scream, cry, or just need a hug now and then. Once you have answers to what is going on and can come up with a plan of action, you will start to feel a little better and a little more in control. First off, you should always take someone with you to your appointments. I understand that you have a translator with you, but you need someone that you can talk to after the fact and go over things to find out if you've missed anything. Start keeping a notebook, with copies of all your pathology reports. When you are talking to the doctor, its so hard to get past that little voice in your head saying "I have cancer, I have cancer," and really listen to what the doctor is telling you. As you read the information and do your research, make notes. This will not only help you get it into your head, you can also go back to it later without having to re-read everything. And as you do this, also write down questions that you want to ask the doctor. And ask us. We are all on this journey, and there isn't really anything that you will experience that someone here hasn't already experienced. We've been through what the doctors haven't. We understand what you are going through. The doctors can answer your questions from a scientific standpoint, but we understand the emotional side of it too. Right now, just take a deep breath and try to relax. Spend time with your kids. You have a big decision to make, but it doesn't have to be this minute.

My prayers are with you,

Robin

Hi catlady, so sorry about your diagnosis. Don't worry your brain shutting down is perfectly normal. When you hear those words everything becomes a blur. You are still in the shock phase, but that will pass. You go through shock, anger, fright, and many in between, but then you finally hit the acceptance phase. That is when you finally take hold of your life and you fight to save it. You are a young mother and that is very sad you have to face this ordeal. Somehow some way you will work out the situation with the children, your mind is just in overload right now. Just know we welcome you to our little "trying to stay sane" club. We are always here for you, to cry with you and to take you by the hand and walk you through this journey. Whenever you need us, just let us know. We have some great women on here in all diferent stages. We can answer most questions because we have lived it. So again I extend my hand in friendship, and I know I speak for all the other ladies. I will keep you in my prayers.

Cajun Lady 

Thank you both so much for posting. Thanks for your advice. I am breathing again. I am still full of emotions. My brain isn't blocking it now and I am learning all I can. Thanks so much again for the welcome and many many hugs.

Mary.

Mary, I'm glad you're feeling a little better. Please feel free to talk to us whenever you like, and ask any questions you may have. We are always here for you.

Hi Mary, how are you doing hun. Sounds like you have passed that in shock phase. So have you found out what course of treatment you will be having? This is so hard, especially when you have young children, but you will get through it, hard as it is. Just keep coming here and ask your questions, we are always here for you. Take care sweetie, and let us walk you through this. You are stronger than you think. I will keep you in my prayers. Stay in touch.

Cajun Lady 

 My prayer for you is that you calm down so you can take in what is happening.  It is great you have taken someone with you to your medical appt.  I took my  husband but he has a speech impediment and it was hard for me after the appt. because nothing was in my brain when I went home and my hubby could not explain anything to me either.  In the beginning it is all so very hard and when you have children and a family and if you work also that can be so trying just to get over the first few weeks or months.  I know it was very difficult for me and I don't have small children.  My son lives in another state and surprised me with a visit two days before my first scheduled surgery.  Everything happens so fast that it is difficult to take in.  Write things down at the doctor's and ask many questions.  Write the questions down before you get to the doctor's.  If possible bring a friend or relative.  Take it very slow, ask questions and do your research.  Come here when in doubt we have been there and can answer some of your questions.  We have all been at different stages of cancer and will have experienced some if not all you are going through.

I want to wish you the very best to you and your family.  Try not to worry too much because it will work out for you.

Zena

Mary,

First things first. Worry about you. Your health, your well being. I know sometimes (most of the time) it is easier to worry about others because then the reality of the BC doesn't quite hit home. There are many options for you and overwhelming many options. Take your time to figure out what is best for you. I was diagnosed with Infiltrating Ductal carcinoma stage II, estrogen positive, HER negative. I went through chemo first (4 rounds) and then had a lumpectomy and radiation. Just finished the RADS on June 26. The Chemo shrunk my tumor (actually there was nothing left of it when the did the lumpectomy 0 cancer found in pathology). If I had done the surgery first I would have had to have a mastectomy due to the size of the mass (4cm) have they given you the option to have chemo first? Everyone is different and all doctors are different too.

Keep coming to this site for advise and encouragement the women are wonderful.

You will also find out as you go through this that you have more friends than you know that are willing to help with whatever you need. I also thought I didn't have alot of friends until I got cancer and then I found out how many I really had.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Lori

Thanks Girls.I am calmer or was until today. My surgery day is next month the 17. I am very worried about this cancer growing or spreading. That is a month and half of waiting. I want it done now want this cancer out of me. I want my life back. I just want it done and over with. Sigh. This summer just sucks all around. Sorry to be a downer here just had a rough day. Hurt my back and have pms and sinus and grrr all at once. Ok Breath. See much calmer. lol.

Thanks for reading. Hugs. Mary

 Hi Mary,

So sorry to hear about you having such a downer day!  Hopefully tomorrow will be much better!  Please dont apologize for being down or feeling poorly! Thats what we are all here for!  To help each other when its a rough day, to laugh with each other when its a silly day, to be happy with good news and sad when not!

We are here for you and I am giving you a great big hug with the hopes you get a much deserved good nights sleep, a good restful night sleep and may tomorrow be a sunny day for you!

Best wishes and a great big hug!

Mary,

I understand the wanting the cancer out now.  I am too waiting to have surgery in August.  I will have 3 chemo treatments first, the next one is on Tuesday.  I also have two young children, 4 and 10.  And my husband is figuring out how to take care of everyone.  I am leaning on my co-workers and my best friend to help pick up the slack.  It is amazing what people have offered to do for me on the days that I am not well.  Remember to reach out to those around you, they are willing to help.

Blessings and hugs,

Kristi