Discussions

A little under 2 years ago my mom passed away from breast cancer at 51 years old.  I was 15 years old then.  She was diagnosed for 12 years but you never would have known.  She made it clear that breast cancer would not ruin her path for raising my brothers and I.  My dad would take her to the hospital to get her treatment, but as soon as they left she would leave it behind.  She was tired of course after all the treatments she had to go through, but she still found time to work and raise us all.  In February of 2007 she started having worse side affects and had to stay home for the rest of the school year (she was an assistant librarian in 2 elementary schools).  During the beginning of the summer months she showed better signs and just as everything seemed to be getting better it got worse.  On a trip to drop my brother off at college she noticed her eye sight in her left eye was fuzzy.  She went to the doctor and sure enough it was a cause from all the radiation they had to do.  A few weeks later the doctors said they couldn't do anything more because her body was immune to all the treatments.  My parents told us but I didn't believe it.  She only had a few days or weeks left and hospice had to come in.  After weeks of bed rest she passed away on Sunday, October 28th 2007.

     I feel that after this year and a half I still haven't been able to talk about it.  My dad always worries about me becuase he thinks I have such a hard time since I am the only daughter.  He always wants to know if I have someone to talk to and I tell him yes I have many friends.  But all my friends were only 15 as well and now 17 and I felt I couldn't open up to any of them.  I feel like I have been through so much that they couldn't imagine how to talk with me.  I feel older than my age because of everything that has happened and I just need someone to relate to and talk to..

My dear sweet child I am so glad you found this site.  It is nevery easy to loose a loved one and especially your mom.  My heart goes out to you and I would love to help you in anyway I possibly can.  I am a mother of 4 children; two boys (30 and 24) and two girls (28 and 20)  It is very importand to me to help them through this jurney. 

I know it was very hard for you and your mom but she obviously loved you very much.  Just know we are here for you and are willing to help in anyway we can.

Big Hugs from Alice

Emmysdaughter, what a hard road you've had to walk, and grow up way before your time. As a teenage girl, it must be extremely difficult not to have your mom to talk to about all the things that are important in life. I too am an only daughter with 2 brothers. I'm grown with a grown up son, but I can understand how difficult it would be to not have my mom in my life growing up. We are all here for you. If you need an older woman to talk to about things going on in your life, we are all here for you. Talk to any of us any time.

Robin 

 Oh my dear!! I am so so sorry that you lost your mom at such a tender age when you do still need her. Your mom's death will always leave a hole in your life, but you can remember her by all the wonderful things you learned from her, the values she taught you. And you can honour her by being the best person you can be.  I was older when I lost my mom but I still miss her. I wish I could fold you in my arms. You can cry and let it out. That is perfectly normal. It's normal to feel anger and despair but just know that we are all here for you. Maybe you can find someone you feel comfortable with and correspond with that person and have a sounding board. Your dad would probably appreciate you talking to him. That can draw you closer together because I am sure he hurts too. Take care, honey, and talk to us anytime, ok??

 I am so sorry to hear about the lose of your Mom.  My sister died while her children were just out of college.  We talk all of the time about the times they wish that their Mom was still here.  I am helping to raise my sister's granddaughter and what she would have given to be here for all of them.  Your Mom loved you very much which is shown through the strength that she showed you during her treatments.  I tell my sister's children that she will always be in their hearts and minds through all that she taught while she was alive.  I asked if they ever had a moment when they would think about how their Mom would react to something that they did.  See she is with you.

As for as your Dad goes.  You need to talk to him and let him know that you need a person to talk to and sit with and cry with who leaves close and maybe even knew your Mom.  He may cry, but it will be really good for him to know that you would come to him and trust him to help you.  He probably thinks you are suffering and does not know what to do for you.  Let him be the Dad and help you find someone to talk with who is close.  I am not saying do not come and talk to us, but I also know that at 17 you need a hug from a mother figure and that needs to be someone that you and you Dad decide upon.  I bet your Mom had a good friend who would be great for this role or maybe even and aunt or grandmother.

Take care of yourself and come back if you need some more encouragement.  These women are all wonderful. 

May God keep you close to Him.

His Child

 I am so touched by your message.  It is always so difficult to deal with when you lose your mom at an early age.  I lost my mom at the age of 26 when we were beginning to become best friends.  At that time my son was only 7 yrs. old and I clearly understand what it meant to be a mom being one myself.  I did suffer alot at her loss.  Even now when I was diagnosed with breast cancer all I could think about was my mom.  I really wanted her to be there for me but you know what she was there in spirit and if not for her spirit I would not have made it through.  Now I am finished with radiation and am taking medication to keep the cancer from coming right back.  I know in my heart my mom has been with me.  I have had dreams with her since my diagnosis and I have felt comforted by that thought. 

Know in your heart that your mom, too, is walking along side of you and is there for you in spirit.  Here is a great big hug for you---you can be the daughter I never had.

Be at peace and come here if you need to talk or get something off your chest.  We are here for you always.

Zena

 hi emmysdaughter,

i am sorry to here of your mother's passing. i can somewhat realte to your sorrow, alothough it was not moy mother, my grandmother had passed from ovarian cancer when i was only 19, i was her only granddaughter, the only girl like you, she practially raised me and my brother. after 17 some years it is still hard for me, i'm 37 and i think of her all the time and wonder about so many things and yes my sweet friend it hurts deep, there is nothing wrong expressing those feelings it helps to heal you can never let go of all the remarkable things your mother did for you and your family, and know she is your angel watching over you and keeping you safe, and you know what, you do have someone right there by your side to talk to, you still have your mom, i always talk to my grandmother, remeber this, we have not lost our love one they were right there the whole time, our loved one has just gotten their wings and went up to our savior to be that much closer to him and to keep even a closer eye on you, and when ever you need her she will be right there.

i am glad you have come to this site to share your experince with us and it may help some of us her that are going thrrough the same. your story is remarkable just like your mother and i am sure that she is every bit proud of you, you are truly a remarkable young women. if ever you need to talk or just need to let somethings out we are here for you my friend.

many hugs, blessings, & love,

lisa

Hi sweetie,

I am so sorry about your mom. You have made a huge step in joining and talking about it. I know I can speak for everyone here that we are proud of you for that...

I am 46 and I just lost my mom to cancer in March of this year she was 64. I have a daughter about your age she just turned 18.

I'm so glad you found this site and if you ever need someone to talk to we are all here for you anytime....

Stay strong and live happy, I'm sure that is what your mom would have wanted for you,,,,

Sweetie, i am so glad you found us! Your mom sounds like she was so awsome.  You must be so proud to have such a great mom.  It is very tough loosing a mom.  I lost my mom last year, and it was so tough on me, and i"m almost 50! My friends were there for me, but it helped to talk to someone who had lost their mom, or had been thru what we had been thru.  I know your friends have been there for you, but know hunny that we are here for you too.  We know what your mom and your family went thru because we are going thru it now.  I think that talking about what yoou went thru will help alot.  There are lots of ladies here that are fantastic listeners.  Even if you just tell us all about your mom and the memories that you have will help you!  I am here if you need me, and i love hearing stories about great moms! 

 Emmysdaughter,

My heart goes out to you sweetheart. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. Although I am 44 yrs old with a 23 yr old daughter, I know this had to be so hard for you. My daughter has been more like the parent to me than the other way around.

Anytime you need someone to talk to, we are here for you. I know you have questions, closed up feelings, etc. Don't be afraid to open up here. My daughter said that she would love to talk to you if that would be okay.

God Bless You Sweetie. You're in my thoughts and prayers!

Alison