Janelle's Blog

First Lady Michelle Obama and President Obama were recently criticized for enjoying a private night out. It made me stop and wonder why people in any position in life are not allowed to have some time off high-pressure situations to refresh their minds, emotions, and bodies without criticism.

Life is demanding, and when pressures build without a release valve, you cannot be as mentally sharp to make decisions that may have weighty consequences on your life. What concerns me is that people do not handle the small things and allow them to build into an out-of-control explosion. Could it be that strategically placed time-outs are good for your health?

Let's Hear What Women Have to Say

USA Today recently published a Frigidaire Motherload index survey of 1,170 married women, ages 25-50, who have two or more children. The question, "How often do other moms say they have a date night with their spouse?" Here are the responses: [BREAK]

Once a week or more often    4%

Once a month or more often    21%

Once every 2-3 months        21%

Once every 4-6 months        18%

Once every 7 months or less    36%

Does this surprise you, as it did me? From this survey I see overworked mothers who give themselves little time to reconnect with their spouses, and ultimately with themselves. If you keep doing the same things day after day without a break, life will drag you down.

My husband and I will be married 44 years this August. One glue-holding factor for us is that we have a deep friendship as well as love for each other. He has been with me through breast cancer. I have been with him through near-death from gall bladder infection. Over the years the opportunities to strengthen our relationship have been there many times over. We always choose to hold onto God and to hold onto each other through the storms. And, the storms do pass.

Making time for each other to enjoy your lives together is important to helping the relationship grow. That frequent date-night can be the best gift you can give your spouse and yourself. It has certainly worked in our relationship.

How About Some Time Away From my Husband?

Some of you are raising your eyebrow and thinking, I wouldn't mind time-off from my spouse now and then. He has got on your last nerve for the last time.

Take a deep breath and think about why you are upset the minute he walks in the door. Could it be you are overly tired from your hectic day and it has nothing to do with him? Arranging for time to be alone is mentally freeing.

Please don't misunderstand, Neal and I spend time together because we have some common bonds, then we instinctively know when it is time to drift into our own individual outlets. He has no involvement in some of my hobbies just as I have no interest in his. It is in the individual exploration of the things you enjoy doing that you recharge your batteries so that your time together can be special.

Excuses, Excuses

Many women say they can't afford a night out with their spouses. We are not talking about taking a vacation right now, only having three or four hours of solitude with someone you love. Think of the things you can do that cost little or no money. Research your city on the internet if you need to, watch for things in the newspaper, or go to your favorite places.

Let's look at how this plays out. You make arrangements for a babysitter at the beginning of the week for Friday night out with hubby. The planning and preparation for a special night out can bring you excitement in the anticipation. By the time Friday night comes around, you have had time to select a perfect outfit, get your makeup and hair looking good, settle the children in, and not be rushed as you leave on your date.

The dog runs through the house and knocks over a vase that crashes to the floor minutes before you are to leave. The phone rings and you get word that relatives are coming in unexpectedly tomorrow. Now, more than ever, it is time to go on that date. Even if your best plans get interrupted by life, you'll minimize your stress level with pre-planning and be better prepared to step into the unexpected challenges.

Take Time to Love

I want to re-emphasize, ENJOY your time together. When you dated, you laughed, flirted, were kind to each other, etc. That will definitely bring out the best in people.

Rebuild hurting relationships today. Love that spouse for all of the good and wonderful things that made you fall in love in the first place. Take time to love.

Thought for Today:

"It is the things in common that make relationships enjoyable, but it is the little differences that make them interesting."--Todd Ruthman

Live Life,

Janelle